The Day

It consisted of intense pride and humbling disappointment. I'm not usually one to have to remove myself from a situation for fear of having an emotional meltdown, but it hit me today. It hit me extremely hard.

I take a lot of pride in my work. I'm academically competitive and am usually very upset when I fail to succeed when I know I can. I worked extremely hard on a movie (my very first) for one of my classes this semester. I had a setback a few weeks ago when I had the movie nearly completed and it was saved to a flash drive, then stolen from under my nose. I had a moment. I persevered. I re-completed the assignment.

I was so unbelievably excited to show my work in class today. I wasn't sure I could stand getting through until 4:20. Alas, my newly purchased flash drive decided to be a complete bitch and not work to open my movie.

I am pretty convinced that God is punishing me for recent choices. This has to be the result of a relationship break down with someone that I care a lot about. I am reaping what I sow. Clearly. It's just as my favorite Voltaire quote goes: "God is a comedian playing to an audience too scared to laugh." I'm not laughing. I'm crying.